I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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