Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
