Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.