How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
