My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
