She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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