What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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