We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Someone signed my nipple.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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