I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
YAS. BRING CRAB.