Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows