Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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