No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.