8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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