nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize