she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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