I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
pop tarts are not kleenex
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
