Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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