How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
