you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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