so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize