We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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