we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
