Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
it's like heaven, but drunker
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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