Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
