Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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