I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
