just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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