dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
