I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Let's paint friendship bongs
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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