Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
