My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
