I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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