in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
