im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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