So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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