Pregnant stripper...not hot.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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