I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
