Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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