he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
