is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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