she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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