: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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