not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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