sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
