The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
