he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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