dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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