just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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