names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
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Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
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I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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