i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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