You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
