I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You can't motorboat a personality
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
