Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
