I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
