isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
