dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I checked into jail on foursquare
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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