this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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