She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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