There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
